Whirlpool
by whore-sama
Summary: His sensei was probably cursing him from the grave. Kushina-san, too. 'I am truly disgusting' Kakashi thought grimly. Not that Naruto knew. She wouldn't know if you smacked her in the face with it, but it was all the better for him. He didn't want her to recognize him as a pervert, even if reading porn publicly was a dead giveaway. Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
1. Chapter 1

**Whirlpool**

Some warnings: Rated M because of reasons. This is a FemNaru story because hey, why not? Also, Kakashi is a bae.

* * *

" _Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway" –Eleanor Roosevelt._

* * *

Kakashi woke up with the urge to pour bleach into his head in order to fry his brain. Once again, he had dreamt about her. Each dream started differently, but ended the same –with him fucking his sensei's daughter senseless and her screaming his name in pleasure.

' _I am disgusting.'_ Kakashi thought grimly as he got up from his bed and walked silently to his bathroom, removed his mask, and splashed water on his face. He tried to ease his erratic breathing and calm his racing heart. He looked down and gave his hard-on a poisonous glare. Without turning the lights on, he stripped and stepped into the shower under the cold water spray.

It was still the middle of the night.

This had been his routine for the past three years –ever since she had come back from training with the Toad Sannin. He didn't really know when he had started developing feelings towards Uzumaki Naruto, but by the time he had realized, it was already way too late. To say he was constantly angry at himself was an understatement, because he was _supposed_ to think of her as his _little sister_ and not, not… Not like _that_!

But he couldn't help it. He had tried, though. Had slept with a couple women because at first he thought he was just sex-deprived and since Naruto was the prettiest female he knew (at his standards at least) he couldn't help but think of her that way. It had taken him a little more than eight months to realize that that wasn't the case. It was her, he wanted _her._

Which was one of the reasons he was scum and deserved to have his cock cut off and fed to Inuzuka ninken. Also, his sensei was probably cursing him from his grave. Kushina-san too, probably.

He was _fourteen years her senior._

' _I am truly, truly disgusting.'_ He thought again as stepped out of the shower and dried himself before walking back to his room and sliding under the covers, still butt-naked.

But now he couldn't sleep, because the events of his previous dream were still fresh in his mind.

In his dream, they had been dating. They were on a movie night of sorts, in his apartment, and she was wearing his shirt and looking adorable and sexy in a way only she could pull off, and then he had kissed her (because hey, they were dating) and one thing led to another and eventually he had found himself buried deep within her, her walls clenching and unclenching as he moved faster and faster…

He slapped himself out of his own thoughts. Nothing good would come out of them. With a heavy sigh, he glared once again at his new hard-on.

This was going to be a painfully long night.

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto awoke at seven in the morning of a sunny Tuesday feeling like she wanted to die. With a groan she got up from her comfy bed and glared at her bloodstained sheets before removing them and throwing them into the washer with tons of bleach and soap. Feeling like she was going to throw up all over the place, she got into her shower without even removing her clothes and sat under the hot spray whilst clenching her stomach and feeling the urge to cry like a hormonal idiot.

Which right now, she was.

 _'You could have warned me, you know.'_ She thought reproachfully.

 _ **'Be grateful, brat. This could have been worse. It's not like it is my fault you are a female, and a human one at that'**_ replied Kurama's deep voice from deep within her mind.

' _Well, it_ is _your fault that my period is a little bitch.'_

' _ **Shut up. I am tired, and I can't be paying attention to your body all the time, you ungrateful kid.'**_

She groaned as a particularly painful cramp made her feel like she was about to faint.

To be honest, whenever she was on her period, it was always this bad. Good thing was, because of the giant chakra fox sealed inside of her, her menstrual cycle was doomed, and she only got her period about twice a year, with a heavy flow that would last about three days, no more.

Just three really bad, awfully crappy days, in which she would throw up, cry, and eat lots of ice-cream and lots of ramen while watching really bad soap operas on T.V.

Normally, the fur-ball would tell her when her days of doom were nearing and she would ask for a few days off so nobody would come see her in such a state, but this time, her period had bitch-slapped her with ultra-force and the element of surprise. She assumed Kurama was still tired from the war (which had ended about six months ago) and that that was why he hadn't warned her this time.

She groaned once again as she slipped out of her wet clothes and bathed, making sure she was clean and squeaky before stepping out of the shower and dressing in a comfy shirt and loose black shorts (and wore an extra-large pad). Then she went back to bed and took a couple pills before turning the T.V. on.

This was going to be a painfully long day.

* * *

If Hatake Kakashi was to be asked to give an honest excuse as to why he was late for his meeting with the Hokage, which had been programed for seven in the morning and to which he had turned up to at ten thirty, he would have never said he had overslept because he had spent a good part of the late night and early morning jacking off to unhealthy thoughts about his younger student, until his hand and arm hurt like a bitch and he was simply too tired to keep up and had just drifted off to a gratefully dreamless sleep.

So when Tsunade demanded an explanation, his only answer was:

"I got lost in the road of life."

If Kakashi hadn't been an elite ninja, the flower pot that had been aimed for his head after that answer wouldn't have been avoided, and he would be either dead, or with a bitch of a concussion. Thankfully, he _was_ a super-cool ninja, and was now eyeing the lilies on the floor while Sakura and Shizune tried to calm the Hokage, and Sasuke remained silent on the opposite end of the room, brooding quietly, as usual.

He scanned the room with a lazy gaze, and found something was amiss.

"Where the fuck is the Uzumaki brat?" Tsunade asked angrily, voicing Kakashi's thoughts (though in a certainly ruder manner).

"I haven't seen her today at all. It's weird, since she's usually early." said Sakura, gazing at Sasuke and Kakashi as though they knew something.

They did not.

"I haven't seen the idiot either"

"I have not seen Naruto today either, Hokage-sama." said Kakashi calmly "Perhaps she is ill?" because really, what other explanation was there? She was never late, and she usually enjoyed visiting Tsunade (even when it was just mission reports).

"Fuck this. Hatake, report. And after you are done with that, go look for the brat and bring her to me."

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

* * *

For the fifth time in the day (and it wasn't even past lunch) Naruto made a trip to the bathroom to change pads. Her insides were twisting and turning in a most unpleasant manner, and she had already thrown up once.

She was kind of expecting the knock on her door, really. It was only natural, since she hadn't told Tsunade about her upcoming doom (only because she hadn't know about it herself) and her team had a mission report due in the early morning (which, if the world was still round, had just ended recently, since it was barely half past eleven and Kakashi had probably showed up to the Hokage tower like, half an hour ago).

Dude, the granny was going to be _pissed._

She might forgive her though, once she learned about Satan's Waterfall taking control of her life.

She'd better bring her some sake, just in case.

The knock came again, this time more forcefully.

"Come in!" she yelled as she came into her living room and took her place in the sofa, under a thick layer of blankets.

The door opened and she grabbed the tube of chocolate ice-cream as she made place for (assumingly) Sakura to sit.

"Sakura-chan" she groaned, paying attention to her soap opera "I'm having the worst day ever. Please tell granny that my insides are being ripped and that I need like, I don't know, two days off or something."

"What?" the reply came from a definitely masculine and deep voice –so _obviously,_ not Sakura-chan.

Naruto gave a squeak that many pairs of ears would consider offensive, and jumped in a certainly unladylike manner to face her intruder.

"I feel almost offended, that one of my own students can't recognize my chakra signature" Kakashi said, feeling a bit offended, because really, this was basic stuff.

Naruto looked like shit, though, and she _had_ mentioned something about her insides being ripped or something of the like.

"You look like shit."

"Well thank you, Mister Gentleman. I wouldn't know if you hadn't just told me." Came the bitter answer, as she readjusted herself in her sofa. "It isn't my fault the Devil's River decided to drip off of my vagina, you know? These things happen. Basic anatomy, sensei." She said before stuffing her face with a spoonful of ice-cream.

"…The Devil's River?" _what the fuck_

"My period, sensei." She moaned as she scooped more ice-cream.

"Oh" came Kakashi's answer. She looked at him and saw he looked visibly uncomfortable.

He stayed silent.

"Did granny ask you to look for me?"

"Yes. She wants you to report to her, actually."

"Kakashi-sensei" she said "Can't you just tell her I'm on my period? I'm really not feeling well, and I'm with a heavy flow here, so could you just tell her it caught me unprepared and that I'll be fine in a few days? Please?" she said , staring at him with big, blue, puppy eyes.

Damn it.

Kakashi rubbed his eyes and considered the possibilities. He could do as she asked (which seemed surprisingly reasonable, even if she didn't look as bad as she said she felt), he could take her to Tsunade himself, or he could just avoid it all and have Sakura deal with this.

Yeah, the Sakura option sounded great. Female friends, who understood heavy menstrual flows and cramps, and the shitty soap opera that was playing on Naruto's TV sounded just grea–

The sound of painful vomiting came from Naruto's bathroom.

Kakashi blinked and wondered, as he stared at the empty sofa before him, how could he not have sensed his student moving from her visibly comfortable spot?

He made his way to the bathroom and found Naruto hunched over her toilet.

Even as his nose twitched at the smell, he knelt beside her and pushed her hair back until she was done, awkwardly rubbing her back.

Maybe she did feel as bad as she said she did.

"Right. Naruto, I'll go report to Hokage-sama." He said as he got up, itching to leave this uncomfortable situation.

"Kakashi-sensei" she asked with a raspy voice.

"Yes, Naruto?"

"Could you bring me some pads when you are done talking to granny? Pretty please? The big one, for heavy flow. Could you?"

Even as he nodded his head, Kakashi felt dread deep in his core.

This was _not_ was he had expected from the day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Whirlpool**

Some warnings: Rated M because of reasons. This is a FemNaru story because hey, why not? Also, Kakashi is a bae.

* * *

Chapter Two:

Author's Note: Hey guys! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, faved, and followed the story! I just wanted to make a quick comment: To those of you who don't like the story, please do everyone a favor and simply refrain from reading it. Calling me an idiot or any other name won't change the fact that it is published and that I will continue to update it. Oh, and slut shaming is pretty nasty too, go pet a dog or something, you bitter paperclip.

Anyway, thanks guys! I hope you like this chapter!

Sorry for the delay, I got caught up in a few problems (ok, a lot).

Kind regards,

W hore-sama.

* * *

Kakashi didn't know what he had been expecting.

Perhaps another flower pot aimed at his head (since that was the norm) or something of similar proportions to be thrown at him. But as soon as the words 'period' and 'vomiting' and 'she looked very bad' came out of his mouth, the military leader in front of him visibly relaxed.

"So that's how it is" she muttered "It must really suck if it caught her unprepared. Yeah, alright, I'll forgive her this time. Tell her to come here as soon as she feels better, she's off duty until then. It shouldn't be more than a couple of days." she said, visibly more calm than she had been just a few moments ago.

"Hai" he responded before jumping out of the window, making his way to the nearest pharmacy.

He couldn't believe he was about to buy pads. Extra-large pads, for a heavy flow, at that.

It didn't bother him because he thought of it as an embarrassing action or something of the like, but it was something that just seemed so… _intimate_. Like something he shouldn't be doing. Something maybe Sakura or Ino should be doing. Or something a boyfriend should be doing. But not him. He was only her teacher.

A very dirty, disgusting teacher, but still just a teacher.

He wished he had just shunshin-ed away as soon as she had mentioned the bit about her insides being ripped. Even better, he should have just used the kawarimi and replaced himself with Sakura.

Too late for that _now_.

The drugstore was relatively empty as he lazily walked towards the female hygiene section and picked up two packs of pads (of twelve each, he didn't want to be running this kind of errand again anytime soon) before passing on to an empty cashier.

The young man at the register ringed both items lazily before packing both in a bag.

"My girlfriend drinks chamomile tea when she's on her period, she says it helps with the cramps. You should take some with you, I'm sure your girl would appreciate it." He said, holding a box of tea in his left hand. "It's pretty cheap too. Want me to ring it?"

Kakashi wanted to explain that Naruto wasn't his girlfriend, and that he doubted chamomile would soothe her evident agony (not that he knew much about periods or how to soothe them, mind you) but he just nodded his head for the sake of not complicating things.

The young man ringed the tea and Kakashi paid him before leaving the drugstore with a bag of pads and tea and a feeling of dread in his stomach.

He was not sure of how he felt about going back to Naruto's small apartment, where she was in obvious pain he had no emotional ability to try and soothe.

So he walked slowly, not really willing to set foot on the apartments.

He did not have much experience with periods, but he had often heard (mostly from overhearing Anko) about how awful they were, and he really, _really_ , didn't want to deal with Naruto while she was on her period. He was already socially awkward, and dealing with that kind of situation felt way out of his league. He just wasn't cut to handle well things that didn't involve his job.

He reached the apartment building much earlier than he would have wanted to, even with his slow pace, and considered one more time asking Sakura to deal with this (though it was too late now, late enough for it to be weird, and he had already bought the pads). He opened the door to Naruto's apartment and peeked inside, noticing there was nobody in the faded orange sofa where she had previously been resting.

"Naruto?" he called.

"Shower!" came the muffled reply behind the closed bathroom door.

He closed the door behind him and dropped the plastic bag on her couch, sitting on the other end, next to her blanket. He sighed and rested his elbows on his knees, resisting the urge to drop on the floor and stare blankly at the ceiling like the piece of trash he felt he was.

Running an errand for his student (who he had a massive crush on) had felt domestic to the point where he had wanted to scream (something he wouldn't do, because he was, you know, cool). He just couldn't shake the feeling this was not something a perverted, dirty old teacher should be doing for his innocent, cute little student. Maybe if he was her boyfriend (like that would ever happen) it would have been normal. Something he wouldn't mind doing. Not that he minded doing it now, but it just felt plenty awkward, and awkward was something he actively (though miserably, as Gai was his best friend and Naruto was his student) tried to avoid.

He just wasn't cut for this.

The sound of the bathroom door opening alerted him that Naruto would be in the living room in less than five seconds, probably wearing only a towel and looking indecent and stuff (just plenty of material for the spank bank). And that exact instant was when he decided that just – _no_.

* * *

He had left that place faster than Tsunade when you said the word 'alcohol'. If he had any luck, she hadn't seen him making a run for it through her window and jumping through rooftops at a pace that seemed almost humanly impossible. Naruto, that is, not Tsunade.

In his defense, he _had_ bought the pads, and he was just trying to avoid another uncomfortable situation (which may or may not have involved an almost naked Naruto and a _really_ awkward boner).

And now here he was, sitting in a corner in the shadiest bar in Konohagakure and already halfway through his second bottle of sake.

Well, some people had it worse.

"Looking like shit, Kakashi" a familiar voice said as someone sat with him on his (purposefully, thank you) lonely table.

"Genma" he replied dryly.

"What's got you troubled?" Genma asked as he eyed the sake bottles on the table "I mean, it's only three o' clock. Something shitty must have happened if you're getting drunk mid-afternoon."

"Not much" Kakashi replied, emptying his cup and pouring himself another.

"Aw, come on! Would you rather talk with Gai? 'Cuz if it's something that makes you think you need to get drunk I think I'm a better option than Gai. Or I could fetch him, if you want to end up with an alcohol induced coma, that is."

"Actually, I don't need to talk at all. I just need to get drunk, so, if you don't mind…"

"As always, you're acting like an asshole. Talking won't make your tongue fall off, you know? And it's way better than the hangover you're getting later"

Kakashi eyed Genma sourly before finishing up his cup and setting it down on the table.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"Why are you drinking in a shady 24/7 ninja bar at three o'clock in the afternoon on a Tuesday?"

"What are _you_ doing on a 24/7 ninja bar at three o' clock in the afternoon? Shouldn't you be working or something? Chunnin exams, paperwork…?"

"I am meeting someone, but that's beside the point since I'm not getting shit-faced."

"Well, I'm getting shit-faced. There's your answer."

"Why are you getting shit-faced? You never get shit-faced."

"Fuck off, Genma."

"Wow, ok, rude." Genma said with a smirk.

"Now, now, I think I know what it is. It's a woman, isn't it?"

Kakashi almost choked on his sake.

But, since that clearly wasn't his style, he avoided reacting.

Well, he wasn't expecting it to be obvious. There were definitely a lot of reasons why he could have been drinking that didn't involve a woman. Everyone knew that. But then again, everyone knew he didn't like drinking. On his defense though, it was a shitty day, a shitty-er day thank his usual shitty, so he believed he had the right to get a little bit drunk, or at least drunk enough so that when he got to his apartment he would be intoxicated enough to have a dreamless sleep. God knew he didn't need dreaming that day.

Now, he didn't like getting drunk. Never had, even back in his ANBU days. But every now and then, a shinobi had to take a break, and his way of taking a break was getting drunk enough so that he could forget what thinking was about (usually passing out, since he was a sleepy drunk, and just tended to fall flat on his face, no drama or regrets involved.)

"Unlike you, I tend to have more important things to get drunk about." Kakashi replied cooly.

"Right, right. Figures. Well, I gotta meet that person I told you about. See ya, Kakashi." Genma chuckled before leaving the table.

' _Sure. Figures_.' Kakashi thought, pouring himself more sake.

* * *

Naruto knew there was a God because, although he wasn't there when she came out of the bathroom wearing a new change of old clothes, Kakashi had bought her pads and chamomile tea.

At this point, she was watching the late afternoon soap opera and drinking her fourth cup of tea. The main character (an iryo-nin called Natsuki) was about to fall into the evil trap of the emperor when Tamaki (the handsome rogue-nin) entered the scene to save his beloved.

"Damn, look at that butt. I bet the bastard would be jealous." She murmured snuggling into her blanket.

 _'Tamaki!'_

 _'Natsuki!_ '

The couple yelled each other's names passionately as they were dragged away from each other by the army of mercenaries the emperor had hired, being taken to dungeons full of solitude and empty of the other's presence. The camera made a (totally intended) zoom-in on Tamaki and a firm butt could be appreciated through (totally unpractical) tight shinobi pants.

"Yeah, definitely jealous" she murmured again "I bet Tamaki can crack a nut with those ass-cheeks. The bastard would probably be offended to find out someone has a better ass than him. Though it wouldn't make much sense since he sees Kakashi-sensei like, all the time."

She was sipping her tea as she continued watching T.V. when she decided to fucking choke on the hot tea.

"ITBURNSITBURNSITBURNS" she yelled as she went to the kitchen and drank a glass of cold water.

She waited until her lower face and throat didn't feel like they were on fire to put the glass down, and then proceeded to stare blankly through her kitchen window.

Her brow furrowed.

"… Did I just think Kakashi-sensei has a nice ass?"

* * *

Please let me know what you think :) If you have any suggestions, they are appreciated.

Love,

W hore-sama.


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